Raising Winners: How to Build Confidence in Kids


It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allow us to keep looking for new adventures.

Oprah Winfrey

Do you want to know how to build confidence in kids? You can start by not putting too much pressure on your child.

Childhood should be FUN!

Your kid is not meant to carry burdens of expectations while he is still young. That’s a good way to destroy his self-confidence. Still, any parent wants to raise a confident child. It’s lucky then that there are tricks you can use to make this happen.

Teach Positive Self-Affirmation

Self-affirmation is a technique to get confidence from within. It’s where your child tells himself positive things. But, it is important to practice moderation. It’s about treading the fine line between self-confidence and arrogance. Your child can be self-assured while remaining grounded.

Here is a list of some good positive self-affirmations:

1. I’m loved.

2. I deserve love.

3. I love myself.

4. I am happy being me.

5. My mind is my own.

6. I am responsible.

7. I am safe.

8. I am smart.

9. I am kind.

10. I am at peace.

11. I am strong.

12. I can lead.

13. I can follow.

14. I am friendly.

15. I am principled.

16. I am not afraid of mistakes.

17. I can solve any problems.

18. I matter.

19. I am brave.

20. I am understanding.

By teaching your child these daily affirmations, his confidence will increase. 

Display Pure Love & Affection

One of the biggest sources of anxiety for children is their parents’ love. That’s why you need to make your child feel unconditional affection.
It is never a good idea to base your love on his accomplishments. This will only serve to dampen his self-confidence.

But there is a difference between unconditional love and unrestrained affection. There is no need to criticize your child. At the same time, giving him praise without reason is also unwise. 

Less Pressure, More Fun

Pressure can be a double-edged sword. It can push your child to challenge himself. But it can also shatter his confidence. Since the goal is to build his confidence, focus less on pressure. Focus more on making things fun.

Even if your child is doing something hard, if it is fun, he won’t mind doing it. And the more he does something, the more confident he will become.
This does not mean to remove all pressure. Instead, distract your child from it with something he is more interested in. That way, he won’t feel as anxious. 

Achievable Accomplishments

how to raise your child's self esteem
how does self esteem develop in childhood

Goals are meant to be accomplished. But if the goal is too unattainable, your child will give up before trying. Focus on giving him accomplishments that he can achieve. You can use smaller victories to build up his confidence.

Once he becomes more sure of himself, he will be ready to try bigger challenges. The important point is that your child does not become discouraged early. In time, he will develop a drive to do even more things. It will become second-nature to him. But this result will depend on consistent practice and encouragement form you.

Freedom to Stretch

Last but not least, give your child room to stretch. Let him experiment and make mistakes. Let him learn from those mistakes and fix them if he can.
Experience is an excellent teacher and the lessons vary. It can be anything from not touching fire to discovering new talent.

You cannot control everything in your child’s life. The sooner he discovers that he can rely on himself, the better off he will be.

Independence inspires things like:

  1. Self-reliance
  2. Bravery
  3. Taking risk
  4. Willingness to try new things
  5. Not fearing the unknown

Those are all important for building confidence. And confidence can help your child overcome many obstacles in life.

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